Is This Your First Day?

Man, do I enjoy buffets.  You can pick how much food you want to it, and the choices are sky’s the limit.  I also find them to be where you’ll get the most bang for your buck.  If you go to a buffet during lunch, you can eat enough food to last you for the rest of the day, for usually around $10.  But even though I love buffets, the people there are atrocious to say the least. When you go to restaurant, I’d assume that you go with knowing what you want, for the most part.  Like at McDonald’s, you don’t go there thinking about getting steak;  you’re there for the burgers and fries.  Now of course buffets offer a wide variety of food, but each place still serves a basic food type, like pizza.  So the fuck is it so hard for people to choose what they want to eat?  You see pizza, you’d assume that’s what you want.  But know, these people have to fucking stare at it for several minutes, wasting everyone else’s goddamn time because they wo...

God damn, internet dating sites.  I’m on a few like OKCupid, POF, and even bought 6 months worth of Match.  I’ve only had luck with one person, but good god what a dumpster fire of horseshit. Let’s start from the top.  If you ever Google something along the lines of how to make a better profile on whatever site, you’ll get explanations of how to stand out.  Make a catchy description for yourself, be funny, post pics of you not smiling or doing something that you enjoy.  Don’t stare directly into the camera if you’re a guy for better results.  When messaging, make sure to include more than just hey; include something you read from their person’s profile.  Sounds reasonable, right.  Haha, fuck no.  That gets you absolutely NOWHERE.  The first thing I ever get messaged with is “Hey”.  Hey?!  I fucking have to write a paragraph to even try to get into the door, and you think you can use three fucking letters??  No, no...